


secret love song

by narryblossom



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Harry's mad, M/M, Niall's a fuckin' liar, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-29 00:53:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7663936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narryblossom/pseuds/narryblossom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In an alternate universe, Niall is a solo singer-songwriter who keeps himself in the closet, and Harry hosts the breakfast show with Nick.</p>
            </blockquote>





	secret love song

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this on tumblr a while ago as narryblossom so don't be alarmed if you've seen this there.

“ _Ni-aalll_ ,” Nick gasped, “I’ve heard you’ve been slagging about again! I’ve got pictures of you at a party with some eggplants and two lovely ladies that you seemed to be with _all night long_ ,” he trailed off suggestively.

“Ahh, I wouldn’t say all night long,” Niall chuckled calmly, smiling at Nick and glancing at Harry across the table and the sea of microphones and wires that separated them.

“Oh really?” Nick asked, putting his hands flat on the table as he tilted his head to give Niall an accusing look. “Did you pull them both? I bet you could have.”

“No, no,” Niall trailed off, bouncing his knee nervously, “I didn’t, I _don’t_ …usually…do that.”

“You’re telling me you don’t pull anyone? You _never_ go to the club and see a cute bird and think, ‘I’m gonna take her home tonight and we’re gonna have a good time.’?” Nick accused with a smirk dancing on his lips. Harry absentmindedly tapped his fingers over the keyboard of his computer, probably thinking of a clever tweet to draw the show’s twitter audience’s attention to the radio broadcast.

“No,” Niall insisted, “I honestly don’t do that.”

Niall’s eyes glued themselves to Harry’s uncomfortable figure. His hand rose to his mouth and he began to chew on his thumb when he noticed Harry’s eyes shifting towards him without actually looking at him. He felt guilt growing in his stomach, but he didn’t say anything else, didn’t interrupt Nick as he continued to accuse Niall of having lots of ladies at his fingertips despite his lack of admitting it.

“Yanno,” Harry suddenly spoke up, interrupting Nick’s senseless rant, “I’m so glad that you’re _honest,_ Niall. It’s rare to find someone who can be _so open_ on air and tell the _truth_ about themselves. It seems like these days people just lie their way in and out of everything. Talking to you is so… _refreshing_.”

“Yeah,” Niall chuckled in confusion and embarrassment, “What can I say? I’m a, I’m a pretty honest guy…”

“Yeah, an honest guy.” Harry glared at Niall, slowly taking his headphones off. “Never _fully_ honest though, right?” he mumbled, shoving his chair back forcefully as he stood and quickly left the recording room. Nick and Niall sat in silence for a moment, staring at each other before one finally spoke.

“What the hell was that?” Nick asked in a slow whisper, close to the mic so everyone listening could still understand, mouth hanging open in shock. “I’ve never seen him act like that, I’ve got no idea what he’s on about, do you?”

Niall shook his head.

“Let me tell you something, the tension in this room can’t be felt over radio, but if it could, we probably would have just lost all of you. That was _intense_.” He nodded at Niall, getting a nod in response. “How about we take a break? I think they’re ready to hear your new single, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I think they’re ready.” He cleared his throat of the lump that was quickly forming in it, leaning into the mic to speak the only scripted line he was given. “This is my new single, Never Enough. Stay tuned after the song for more exclusive content, only here on BBC Radio One.”

For the rest of the day, Niall’s stomach felt heavy, like it could drop out of his body at any moment and send him to the floor with it. He knew he was in for a fight when he tried to visit Harry that night, and he only hoped that Harry wouldn’t try to talk him into breaking up again. The last time he thought he was only holding Harry on by the promise of coming clean, but he hadn’t done that though he had a very clear opportunity to do so earlier.

When he got to Harry’s apartment, the door was locked as it usually was, but when he tried to open it, the extra chain held it closed. The three inch gap felt too constricting to Niall, too much like a bad omen saying he would have to squeeze himself back into Harry’s life.

“Haz?” He called into the door, hoping the taller lad would come to the door and see that maybe this lock was holding him out by accident. Instead, he saw crossed arms and red, puffy cheeks keeping their distance from the door.

“What?” Harry croaked out, watching as Niall tried to reach into the door and fiddle with the chain.

“Haz, please let me in,” he begged, eyeing his boyfriend’s disheveled state through the crack. “We can talk about this. I wanna apologize.”

“What do you wanna talk about this time, Niall? What can you possibly apologize for that would make this better than the last fucking ten times you’ve done this?” Harry’s voice got louder with anger as he threw his hands up in defeat.

“Please let me in,” Niall begged softly again, glancing around the hallway for any sign of somebody noticing the growing commotion. “It’d be better if we talked about this in,” Niall was cut off as Harry slammed the door shut between them. There was a pause, one just long enough to make Niall question if Harry was even still there, but then he heard a heavy sigh, the chain moving, and then the door opened. He walked in slowly, heading straight to the living room where he found a seat on the couch. Harry followed suit, but he stood with his arms crossed again, glaring down at Niall.

“Harry,” Niall sighed, leaning his arms on his knees, letting his head hang down in shame, “I know I should have said something, but I just,”

“ _Couldn’t_ ,” Harry mocked Niall’s voice. “That’s the same excuse you always give me. You just _couldn’t_. You couldn’t say ‘I like blokes,’ you couldn’t say ‘I have a boyfriend,’ and you know why you couldn’t say it, Niall? Because you’re a coward,” Harry spat, sending another wave of shame through Niall’s body. His face flushed and he became flustered.

“That’s—it’s not that, Harry. You don’t understand,” he protested meekly.

“I don’t _understand_?! Are you fucking kidding me? I don’t understand. Sure, Niall, because I myself am not somebody who is in the media presence who had to come out and tell the entire fucking listening audience and everyone else in the world that I’m gay. I totally don’t understand how fucking terrifying it is to see the backlash and the hatefulness that some people express after finding out I like guys. Poor little Niall has a boyfriend that just _doesn’t understand_ what he’s going through.”

“Harry, stop…” Niall whispered, covering his still downturned face in his hands.

“Why would I stop, Niall? Is it hurting you?” Harry asked, his voice cracking as his anger slowly melted away. “Am I starting to hurt you the way you’ve done to me every single time you’ve lied to me about letting people know we’re in love?”

“I’m sorry, you know I am. I’m really, really fucking sorry that I’m afraid. You deserve better than someone who can’t show you off, but I don’t care. I’m not giving you up for anything. I’m gonna tell them, just give me another few days. Let me tell my family, my friends, then I’ll tell anyone who wants to know. We won’t have to hide anymore.”

“Promise me, Niall.” Harry got out through gritted teeth. Niall wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck and brought him into a sweet embrace. Niall kissed him like there was a goodbye looming in the distance, and maybe there was.


End file.
